A SECOND OPTION

In Nigeria, there are materials/items we refer to as second hand. These items/materials are called second hand because they have been used by someone or an organization or a company for a period and after a while, the materials/items are disposed and sold at a cheaper price to someone else or to another company or organization. So we have second hand clothes, second hand cars, second hand shoes…etc.

            Usually people, organizations or companies go for these items because they are cheaper, because they can’t afford a first class item/material. There is a funny mentality in Nigeria that makes people say that second hand materials lasts longer than materials that has never been used before.

            An option is something that you can choose to have or do. An option is a choice. An experience prompts me to write this article. Nowadays, I see that some ladies are treated as second hand materials by men and the society. Women are treated as second hand by their husbands; the poor are treated as second hand by their nation. This is not meant to be.

            I will be sharing the experience of a lady with you. She was lonely and bored for days, deep in her heart she feels depressed and she said to herself that she needs a company. She wasn’t looking for a relationship per se, she was looking for a friend, someone new whom she can share her thoughts with and not be bored.

            Not long, she met a guy, initially they became just friends, and they talked at length and shared past experiences with each other. She explained to the guy that she had been hurt by guys and that she feels lonely. The guy told her that he is in a relationship with a lady but distance, time and parent factor has separated them. He said he also feels lonely and needs company.

The guy said they should date not minding that there is another lady somewhere, he promised her that he will fill up the space in her heart and make her happy again.

            They started dating but not long after the lady started noticing that the guy has a nonchalant attitude towards her. In summary, he cares less. It seems the guy is always nice to her in words and attitude when he wants something from her. She was hurting; he was always dropping her calls and snapping at her, he gets angry at any little thing she does and can go days without talking to her, I thought love is meant to be good but it wasn't so in this case. She complained several time but there were no changes.

            Then it dawned on her that she is a second hand material to the guy. No little reason why he treats her in such manner. He has another option somewhere so he doesn't mind if she stays or leave. She blamed herself for stupidly accepting his offer and falling in love with him.

            So many ladies are being treated as second option. Some of them endure and they eventually end up marrying the man and still continue to be a second hand material or second option.

            No esteem, no love, no respect, nothing… you are being used and then end up as a filthy rag. This affects your emotion and then frustrates you.

            Ladies, it’s time to stand against being used as a second option, I understand that sometimes, our mood and emotions can lead us to make some stupid decisions but it’s never late to correct our paths, it’s never late to mend it, we need to act fast cause it is all about us.

            As for me ladies, my prayer is that God directs to my path, that man whose rib I was created. That man who will love me unconditionally, the man who will care for me, that man who will stay with me, in trying and difficult times, the man who will respect me and stand with me against all odds. The one who loves God and a doer of God’s word, a man after God’s heart, that’s the kind of man I pray for you ladies out there too.

            Let us refuse to be cheated, lied to, beaten, abused, rejected, isolated and used as a second option or a second hand material, we can make a change if we determine to…Cheers